“Are You Losing Weight?”

Over the last few weeks, I have had lots of people ask me this question.  Twenty or more.  In some cases, these are people who haven’t seen me for months, but many see me at least once a month or so.

I last dealt with this subject about a year and a half ago, where I also observed the leftover-from-the-90s fear of that question’s implications.  Most people have been adding “You look great” these days.

Since that post, I have maybe lost another five pounds, down to about 190 lbs.  (From a height on maybe 225 lbs five years ago.)  That shouldn’t be enough to trigger these sorts of comments, though, especially all of a sudden.  Most likely, my face has become a bit more slender in the last 6 weeks and that’s what people are noticing — or else the stress of helping chaperone two consecutive weekend events to fruition during the most recent weeks of my title year has taken a toll.

Admittedly, during my title year, I am trying to reduce my weight some and generally look better leading up to the contest in July.  And at 190 lbs (I thought I was there last fall but needed to calibrate my scale by a few pounds), I’m down to where I was in probably 1998 (and I can still wear my original chaps from 1991), but I haven’t been actively dieting.

The basics of losing weight are simple: more calories out than in.  Eat less, eat better, be more active.  Beyond that, a huge part of it is in how you behave.  If you act like you are thinner, you are perceived as thinner.  Here are some ideas:

• Wear appropriate clothing.  If you are trying to squeeze into stuff that is too small, it shows.  Bulges in bad places can make you look fat, such as over the edge of chaps or around the straps of a harness.  In the reverse, wearing stuff that is too large can make you look small, even too thin (unhealthy).  Wear stuff that actually fits right.  Also, be aware of what looks good on you.  Is black (leather) slimming?  I don’t know, but white centered around the waist can really show off a tummy, as can shirts which are too short for your torso and ride up to show the tummy.
• Have good posture.  Stand up straight.  Don’t slouch.  Shoulders back and wide, tits up, head level.  This is true when sitting at the computer or watching TV as much as when standing.  When walking or dancing, imagine a string going from your head to the ceiling, stretching you up.  Feel tall and thin and you will project that way to others.
• Focus on your core.  This goes hand in hand with the posture, but your core — your abs, your solar plexus — is where most of your body movement comes from.  You use it to balance yourself, to sit up and stand up, to walk and run and dance.  Just by concentrating on it a little, keeping it consciously tighter, you add a little tension to the muscles throughout your body, and you pull in your gut.  You won’t get ripped abs from this, but you will project better and show less gut.  (I ride a maxiscooter, and I have found you also ride from the core, relying on it to keep you upright and to do most of the steering via body weight shifts.  So I get added core focus there every day without thinking about it.  Riding any wheeled vehicle, bicycle on up, will give the same benefit.)
• What is your relationship like?  While I’m single right now, which carries with it a certain incentive to slim down, being in a relationship can be either good or detrimental to weight reduction.  What one of you does will tend to reflect in what the other does.  If one member of the couple is active, the other is likely to enjoy similar activities.  On the other hand, if one is the sort who would rather stay at home and nest, the odds increase that both will, and the ability to keep weight down reduces.
• Have a positive view of yourself.  If you think of yourself as fat, you will project that to others.  If you think of yourself as slimming down, that’s what you will project.  You don’t have to go around telling people you are losing weight, you just need to make sure you know it, and they will.

But I’ll put in one other thing to actively do:

• Have hot, kinky sex.  Think about what it takes in terms of effort, muscle control, and energy expenditure to do stuff like staying balanced in near-suspension bondage, or throwing a few hundred strokes of the flogger, or getting fisted for a solid hour.  (And think how much you will enjoy that effort vs. pumping iron at the gym?  I’m a big fan of doing the exercise that you want to do!)

So if I haven’t actually lost more than a couple pounds recently but people are noticing anyway, it must be because of these other things.  I’m eating healthier, but also I’m avoiding clothes that don’t flatter me, I’m strengthening my core, I’m projecting a thinner (and more broad across the shoulders) body, I’m thinking good thoughts, and I’m not letting my relationships with others define how I treat my body.

And I’m having hot, sweaty, energetic sex every time I can.  Burn those calories off!