Here is the intended text of my speech from the International LeatherSIR contest.
At my regional contest, at the end of the interview, Sir Alan lobbed a hand grenade question at me: “Do you identify as a Sir?”
(hand explodes in front of face)
Deer in the headlights. I had not prepared for that question. So I gave a dance-around reply, “I will work to embrace that side of my personality over the next year.”
(sticks out tongue and makes gagging noise)
For the next few months, as I picked shrapnel out of myself, I pondered that question. What is a Leather Sir, both as a title and a role? It’s not Mr. Leather. It’s not Mr. Top or Mr. Master. It certainly isn’t Mr. Tom of Finland Clone.
But what a Leather Sir and his boy do map to… is a knight and his squire. And how did someone become a knight, a Sir? Well, beyond beating the living shit out of someone, a Sir is someone who is known for his skill — at arms — and who is also sought out for those skills. And by extension, a Leather Sir is known for and sought out for his skill at leather.
As soon as I came to accept that for myself, things started crawling out of the woodwork. I was asked to do a bondage demo for Rubbout in Vancouver. I was invited to be a presenter at the pansexual leather conference Northern Exposure in Alaska. Leatherdykes stop me during country-western dancing to ask about lube for anal fisting.
No. More. Shrapnel.
(gestures to Sir Alan, then looks back to the audience)
So, Sir Alan, I have worked to embrace that side of my personality this year and I’m happy to firmly say that: “Yes, I do identify as a Sir.”
Whether I actually got these words out suitably, those in the audience would have to tell you. But the audience seemed to react in the right places, and as I came off the stage, Sir Alan was smiling and giving me a big double thumbs up. And that means that the speech was a success.