Seattle Pride • June 23–24

After two weekends away — Palm Springs for FistFest and Anchorage for Northern Exposure 3.0 (URL to come) — it was good to not be away from home for a weekend.  But that didn’t mean I had a free weekend.  This was Seattle Pride.

Northwest Leatherboy Dan was up from Eugene.  Last time, he stayed with me, but this time he decided to get a hotel, to give me some “recover from being gone so much” space.  He didn’t have to do this, but I understand the choice: I usually prefer to ensure I have my own space during a potential “play” weekend, rather than be dependent on someone else (and rather than occupying them, forcing them to tend to me rather than their own preferences).  I’ve always been more of a solo traveller, self-sufficient and wanting to make my own path.

Leather Community Picnic

The weather report for the weekend originally looked less than fabulous, and Saturday sure held to that.

Generic Leather Productions of Washington held their 6th annual Leather Community Picnic in Cal Anderson Park.  This year, they (we, since I was involved in the planning, too) moved it from the far corner of the park to a more central location, to increase the visibility.  We arranged with Local Dogs (a hot dog cart owned by one the GLPW members) to supply dogs and drinks as a fundraiser, which required some permitting and extra costs.  A poster was designed, printed, and distributed around the city.  Events were posted to Facebook, Fetlife, and so forth.  All the sorts of things which should have made the picnic a good success.

But it rained.  And not just Seattle sprinkles.  It fucking rained.

Realizing that we would likely get at least sprinkles, I dug around at the last minute and found my REI screen house.  Boy, were we glad I brought that, so there was someplace handy for people to get out of the rain a bit (although with mesh sides, it was hardly a real rain shelter, but it helped a lot).

A decent number of leatherfolk braved the rain, including most of our local titleholders (and some of the Oregon ones) and two of the SEA-PAH pup/handler pairs, who were planning to have a pup walk.  But after a bit over two hours, we called it a day and broke everything down and headed our separate ways.

The rain stopped pretty much as soon as we left, although we were all wet and the ground was soaked, so we wouldn’t have wanted to hang around anyway.

Contest Prep

One of the main reasons Dan came up was so that we could plot out the Demo and Fantasy pieces for the International Contest next month.

We had discussed a couple ideas for the Demo.  At one point, I wanted to do a kink swing dance demo with Ruin, but the demo needs to be Sir/boy.  Dan and I also discussed a depersonalization demo based on a workshop at Northern Exposure, but we came back around to something we’ve done before that we both liked and we think can carry some more pleasant weight than depersonalization.

We also fleshed out the Fantasy, based off an idea I came up with during the burlesque show at IMsL in March.  I can’t provide any details here, but it will hopefully come off fun, with some good title team interactions (not just Sir/boy stuff but incorporating Ruin as well), and some edgeplay stuff (our regional theme this year) which is not the old gun/knife/rape stuff.  I typed it up that evening and sent it off to Ruin, and she loved it.

I now have to build some set/props for it (I’m hoping just a couple hours work) and figure out what to do with music.

Saturday Night

I have long disliked Saturday night bar stuff on big event weekends.  If you aren’t out early (and I am never able to manage that easily), then there are long lines and inflated cover charges (supply and demand!) everywhere and you can’t change locations without more lines and more cover charges.  I recall at least once in the Bay Area (for Pride or Folsom, I don’t recall which), driving 30 minutes into the City, finding 30+ minute lines out the door on every place I might want to go, and driving home instead.

This year, I rode to the Cuff, saw about 100 in line, then rode around the block and over to Diesel.  There, I was able to walk right in.  It was packed in there, but at least I could get in, get to the bar, and find some people I knew.  I got to talk for a bit to International LeatherSIR 2010 Hugh Russell (one of my judges for the International contest), who was out with his partner (I think; I’ve never met his other half before that I recall, but this wasn’t one of Hugh’s boys); Hugh told me he has been reading this blog and is pulling together questions for my interview.  (Mmm, hope the blog won’t have backfired on me!  No, must remain confident that this better allows me to control the interview, both by ensuring I have better thought through various issues and by helping to feed what I want to talk about to judges who do read some of the blog.)

I gave a good hard cruise to a cute shorter bearded guy named Greg, and it paid off enough to get me a night of make-out and cuddle/sleep at his place, although not much more than that.  He expressed that he’s recently had some bad drama in his life, and I think that may have led to a reluctance to go further (nor to go back to my place).  I’m hoping to get the chance to know (and play with) him some more in the near future.  We shall see.

Pride Parade

A few years ago — perhaps coincident with moving the Parade from Broadway to 4th Avenue — the leather community became irritated at potential random placing of our group in the parade, where if we were in the back half of the parade, we could guarantee having a low turnout.

Other groups around the country have also had the same issue.  Some have tried raising a stink and giving an ultimatum of “Give us better placement or we won’t attend” (to which I hope the local Pride committee replied “Fine.  One less group we have to wrangle, more room for others”).  The Seattle community took a different tack and would gather funds from various groups who would be marching under the banner to provide a “bribe” to the committee in order to get better placement.  This year or last, though, we have formalized this and changed from a “bribe” to a formal community sponsor, ensuring us a spot along with the other sponsors in the first third or so of the parade.  (This makes me at least much more comfortable with the process.  Words have meaning, and “sponsor” carries a much more positive, legitimizing weight than “bribe”, even if the net effect is the same.)

In order to further entice leather participation, Seattle Men in Leather advertised that they would be providing some snacks and coffee and encouraging light “street play”, to turn the pre-parade wait into a sort of Sunday Leather Social.  I didn’t get to the staging location until 10:45 or so, so I don’t know how well this actually worked, but turnout was some of the best I have seen, between Seattle Men in Leather, the Center for Sex Positive Culture, a truck of SEA-PAH pups, Seattle Girls of Leather, GLPW, Leather Reign, and all of our Northwest titleholders except Mr. Oregon State Leather.

With the disco music from one of the nearby contingents, Ruin and I did some West Coast Swing dancing on the street.

The weather report had only promised sun through the morning, changing to a 30% chance of rain by early afternoon.  But the weather report was wrong, and the entire day turned out to be sunny and warm enough (not hot, but suitable for going shirtless during the parade).

For the length of the parade, I was twirling my flogger, including using it some on Dan and Ruin and Ms. Oregon State Leather Ms. Tracey (and a handful of bystanders), as well as loaning it to Tracey to use on Dan.  I was very nervous of my right wrist, which has been problematic for months (and flogging sessions in Anchorage the previous weekend didn’t help), so I swung mostly from the elbow and shoulder or with my left and I seem to have escaped most aggravation.

We gathered most of the titleholders after the parade for some pics, although Seattle Leather Daddy Ryan and Seattle Daddy’s Boy Damien had to head up to the Cuff immediately.  I’ve been generally pleased with the pics of me from the parade, both the posed ones and the candid shots, because indeed, I didn’t look fat to myself in the pics.  I has been a few years since I’ve been willing to be photographed shirtless and not cringed at the pics.

Click here for my Flickr photostream of the event, with more pics.

With SEA-PAH Pup Gadget on the street and the Seattle Pups & Handlers truck behind us.	Regional Titleholders Northwest LeatherSIR Jim, Ms. Oregon State Leather Ms. Tracey, Washington State Mr. Leather Colby, Washington State Ms. Leather Nyx, and Northwest Leatherboy Dan.  Photo courtesy of the Seattle Gay News.
Northwest Title Team Northwest Community Bootblack Ruin, Northwest LeatherSIR Jim, and Northwest Leatherboy Dan.	Street Dancing with Ruin Tah-dah!  Big finish!
Regional Titleholders Washington State Mr. Leather Colby, Washington State Ms. Leather Nyx, International Mr. Bootblack/Oregon State Bootblack Nick, Ms. Oregon State Leather Ms. Tracey, Northwest Community Bootblack Ruin, Northwest LeatherSIR Jim, and Northwest Leatherboy Dan (kneeling).  Photo by Mike Graves.

PrideFest

Several years ago, after losing a lot of money on the weekend, Seattle Out & Proud cut loose the afternoon festival and concentrated just on the parade.  A local community organizer picked it up and has managed to turn PrideFest at the Seattle Center into a great event.  (Especially when it is sunny!)  Two stages of entertainment, shopping and community group booths, food booths, and dancing in the International Fountain are hallmarks.

Rain Country Dance Association, our local GLBTQ country-western dance club (which I’m one of the founders of) again this year had an info table inside Fisher Pavilion.  These are low-cost tables for non-profit community groups, sports teams, etc., and there is a beer garden half in/half out of the pavilion which keeps people flowing in the area: a great option for us.

I was scheduled to staff things at 4 pm, so I decided to ride home, change attire and drop off the title sash.  Going home was great.  Coming back should have taken 20 minutes and took 50, as I took the freeway, bypassed the usual exit because it was stuffed with traffic backed up from the parade and festival, and then rode pretty much all over Eastlake, Denny Triangle, and downtown trying to get around things and back to the festival.  (Would have been another 15 minutes in a car, I’m sure.)

Phil and I staffed the table, which have giveaway beads and candy, plus info sheets about country-western dancing, postcards and a banner for next year’s hoedown, and a computer slideshow of dance pics.  At about 5:15, the number of people walking around was dropping, so we consolidated to a half table, and a bit after 5:30, Pete came back and we packed things up and headed them back to his car.

Getting home, I took a short nap and then thought about going out for some evening partying, but decided against it.  The best place for that would be the Cuff, at the end of their street party, but they charge a hefty cover all day, even after the entertainment is done and crowds are thinning.  I don’t like to pay more to get in than I’m going to pay for the drinks I’ll be consuming while there, and I don’t dance to thump-thump music, so it wouldn’t be worth it to me.

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Updated on August 2, 2012:

Added picnic poster.

Fundraising Through Better Fisting #3a and 3b

When planning the third of my title-year Chez Poing fisting parties, I had three dates potentially available (the first three Saturdays of May), so I queried the dozen or so guys who are my “regulars”, attending almost every party to find out their availability.  None of the dates were available for everyone, of course.  But feeling horny (or masochistic), I decided to do two parties in May, on the 1st and 3rd Saturdays.

First Party

The first Saturday was May 5, Cinco de Mayo (or as I referred to it, “Cinco de Mano”!).  It was also the date of the “supermoon”, the oversized moon which became full just about the time it was at its closest point to Earth.  Seemed to be an appropriate date for the party!
We had great weather that weekend.  Attendance, however, was low, only 18.  But looking back at my records, last year’s May party was also low (only 14 guys), so maybe there’s just something about May — it’s getting warmer and staying light later, so guys are feeling the need to get out and about.  At least one cancel came from a couple guys who worked too hard on a house project and ran out of energy for playing.
Not that I’m complaining, of course.  The guys who attended had a great time, and that’s all that is really important.

Second Party

The second party was on May 19.  Clean up for the party was way easier since I had just done it all two weeks before.  Weather wasn’t nearly as nice, but that didn’t stop guys from attending, as we had 25 attendees, making this one of the best attended parties yet.
I’m going to definitely target nice weather at a time of year when people are really looking forward to such as a major attendance anti-driver.  Come the next party, in August, when another sunny warm day isn’t as special, that influence will be reduced and guys will simply be horny and wanting to play.

The two parties raised another $140 (after expenses) for my travel fund.  Next party will be Saturday, August 25, for my birthday.

Fundraising Through Better Fisting #2

The second of my title-year Chez Poing fisting parties has now come and gone.  (I’m not going to go into all the background and logistics on the subject again.  The earlier post has all that.)

• Invites went out to 92 guys.  Positive RSVPs came back for 34 (just under the 35-person cap), plus 9 “maybe/if I can” responses (of which I only expected a couple to show; that’s how those go).  25 guys showed, which is a little lower than I expected (I was aiming for 28, just above the largest party to date).  Out of town guests included Dariusz from Vancouver (who comes to almost every party) and Julio from Chicago.
• This was the second anniversary of the Chez Poing parties, although only the 8th one because I had to cancel May 2010 when my grandmother broke her hip.
• We had unseasonably warm weather for February, a run of 5 or 6 days that were sunny with highs in the low to mid 50s.
• Guys were great about bringing snacks and beverages.  I don’t think I’ll need to buy any beverages or chips for the May party.  (Robert was especially generous.  I asked him to pick up salsa, cookies, soda, and ice; he brought salsa, hummus, chips, cookies, soda, beer, and ice.  Lesson: this is what happens when you send a horny guy to the store on an empty stomach!)
• After expenses, another $168 from the Fist Kitty for my title travel fund.
• Special thanks to Cliff for trimming the ivy on my stairs and other exterior work; Cliff, Robert, and Rick for setup; Cliff and Rick for Sunday teardown (and joining me for dim sum); and Cliff and Bill for the loan of additional slings.

Next party will probably be Saturday, May 12.

Future fisting adventures:

• I plan to attend Fist Fest in Palm Springs in June.
• I have submitted proposals to be a presenter at Northern Exposure in Anchorage this summer.  Included are ones for sessions on Anal Fisting, Play Party Etiquette, and Hosting Play Parties.
• I’m looking into how to take the party on the road to Portland, probably with a couple afternoon workshops added on.
• I have access to a cabin at Lake Cushman (2.5 hours from Seattle) and hope to do a weekend–long party out there later this year.

Fundraising Through Better Fisting

For my title year, I’ve decided to focus primarily on two fetish activities: fisting and foodplay.  Foodplay because there is so little focus on it that I can make it my own and have an impact as a result, and fisting because I’m already elbow-deep in the activity.  So something to polish and something to stretch; you decide which is which.

I have been “into” fisting (depending on how you define “into” it) for over a decade.  I could run down the details — yes, I call tell you name, location, and date of my first time — but suffice to say that I have played very regularly for the last few years.  And for the past two years, I have been hosting regular fisting play parties.

Fisting Parties

Part of what came out of my last relationship — in addition to us simply getting off on playing with others as well as each other ("good, giving, and game” — thanks Dan Savage!) — was play parties.  And after attending several together — including a small fisting party, a local monthly suck-n-fuck party, and a naturist potluck/orgy gathering — we hosted a holiday party for the naturist group at my house and decided we’d like to do a fisting party.

That first one was in January 2010, and we had about a dozen guys with two slings, a fuck bench, and a futon for play spaces.  I drew heavily on experiences with various other parties I had attended, large and small — the various locals ones I mentioned before, fisting and otherwise, plus FFA at MAL, MAFIA at IML, and Wet n’Hot.  Since then, I have done seven additional parties (plus another Olympians one), refining everything from the invite list to housecleaning to playspace layout.  I also did a Tribal Instinct education session for Seattle Men in Leather on “Play Parties: How to Go and How to Throw”.

Who Gets to Come, and Who Gets to Cum?

The fisting parties — dubbed “Chez Poing” by one of the attendees — average over 20 guys over the course of the evening, with the average attendance having inched up over time, dipping a little in the colder months.  (August 2011 was the most heavily attended, with 27 guys on the 27th.)

My invite list is collected primarily from people I or my ex have played with, so we know that they are suitable players and aren’t freaks, or at least are only good freaks.  (Yes, he and I are still on good terms, and he co-hosts the parties most of the time, helping with set up and being a play instigator.)  I also encourage regular attendees to bring guests along if they wish, but to let me know their name ahead of time.  Finally, I post that there will be a party on the Northwest Leather Calendar and on my online profiles, requesting people email me for an invite; if a guy will then send a name and facepic (“So I know who I’m opening the door to”; if they will put themselves out there enough and show me who they are, they are probably okay), I typically send them an invite.

The one thing I don’t do is to put out a “blind” invite — “Here’s my address, denizens of CraigsList, come one and all, and especially you tweakers!”  No, no, no!

The invite list is currently a bit over 90 people, and “Yes, I’ll attend” responses come in at 30–40% of that.  I cap the reservations at 35 guys (the limit I think the space can handle), asking people to (a) commit early and (b) if they have to cancel, cancel early so I can open up a slot for someone else.  Of the positive RSVPs, I expect around 75% to show; some cancel, and some just don;t show.

I also maintain a spreadsheet of replies and attendance over the last 5 parties (a year and a quarter).  Guys who attended regularly get recorded, but more importantly, guys who RSVP and then don’t show or who never RSVP also get recorded.  Get enough strikes against you for not showing and you get removed from the invite list (since you apparently don’t really want to attend).  It’s fine to cancel, even the afternoon of the party, but if you don’t show at all, then I’m left wondering if you’re dead in a ditch somewhere!).  Never showing up to a party at all, even if you do RSVP each time that you can’t attend, will eventually get you bumped of as well.  I also have a section for invitees from out of town — guys from Vancouver and Portland, but also as fa away as Houston — whom I know probably can’t make it, but whom I’m happy to invite on the off chance they will be in town; these guys don’t need to RSVP to stay on the invite list.  (And you know, if a fisting buddy from out of town was coming in, I would likely put together a party just for him if he wanted me to.)

(After reading all that: why yes, I am a Virgo, thanks!  But you know, it works!  I’m able to maintain a good handle on who to expect and have had no significant problems to date, beyond removing a couple people from the invite list who didn’t seem to be a good fit.)

I don’t actively try to keep a balance of top and bottoms.  That proved very difficult the one time I tried, and frankly, many of the guys are are least somewhat versatile.  The goal being the journey, we’ll all find some way to entertain ourselves even if there isn’t exact parity.

One last thing of note: as I say in more detail below, the selfish goal of these parties is for me to get some good fisting time in.  Attendees are encouraged to ask the host to play!

Pay to Play

When it came to being Northwest LeatherSIR, one of the fundraisers I was supposed to do was to benefit our titleholders travel fund, to ensure that I/we have the funds to travel both to the International contest in July and within our title region.  That sort of fundraising can be challenging, because while people and businesses are often willing to pony up donations to benefit a charity, “gas and hotel money to attend a contest in Portland or a bar night in Boise” doesn’t come as easily.

I have never wanted the play parties to become something that I tried to make money off of — they are intended primarily to grow and strengthen the local fisting community.  (Okay, even that is the secondary goal — the primary one is for me to be a huge fist piggie a few times a year!)  But putting the parties together does have a significant time impact (4-6 hours setup, usually with two of us) and costs $50–100 in supplies (snacks, beverages, lube, towels, gloves, etc., some of which carries forward for a future party or two.  No one has to worry about needing lube or supplies at my parties!).

After the first few parties, something I added was the Fist Kitty, a jar for donations, and a couple parties later, I added a maneki neko next to it (that’s one of the Japanese “lucky cat” figures, the sort with one arm raised up in a fist).  I then added the thumb of a black latex glove to the cat’s paw, making it a safer-sex Fist Kitty.  This one is animated, in fact: a battery keeps the arm moving.

More than recouping my costs, though, I know that strengthening a community happens when the community members are invested in the community.  I ask people to bring some snacks or beverages to share, or to donate to the Fist Kitty.  This allows people to feel some small piece of “ownership” of the party — even if they only brought a bag of chips, they are still contributing rather than just attending.  It earns them the right to feel that they belong at the event, and if they need to, to give me feedback about things.

During my title year, the Fist Kitty donations beyond the absolute costs are going directly to my title travel fund, and I’m letting people know that in the invites.  The last party raised $115 for the Fist Kitty travel fund, which puts me on track for perhaps $500 through the year — which should be enough to get me to Anchorage in June or to an event in Boise or other places.

Next Party

The next party is Saturday, February 4.  Want to come?  Send your name, pic, and a request to redhanky@soundskinky.com.  The party is intended for fisters with at least some experience.  You don’t have to have years of experience under your belt, but you should at least know enough of what you’re doing as top or bottom to not need a lot of hand holding (well, other than an ass holding the hand!).  In particular, you should come expecting and prepared to play; while you might end up socializing or watching instead, the goal is the journey and that involves play.

If you need mentoring — and even experienced, advanced players can have something to learn — there will be guys glad to help you with that, top or bottom. Now and then, we do have attendees lose their top or bottom cherry at a party (in August, one guy did both!), so even novices have a place here.

Spanksgiving

This Thursday, Thanksgiving evening, is the latest rendition of the “Spanksgiving” fundraiser.

Started in 2004 by Northwest LeatherSIR 2005 Michael Congdon (who later won the International title), the event was later brought back by Northwest LeatherSIR 2010 Hugh (who also later won International) and continued by Northwest LeatherSIR 2011 Darian.  Although the Northwest LeatherSIR, Leatherboy, and Community Bootblack titles are no longer sponsored by Generic Leather Productions of Washington, Northwest Leatherboy Danny and I volunteered to continue the tradition this year.

Spanksgiving will run from 9 pm to midnight at the Cuff Complex (1533 13th Ave. in Seattle).  Ryan and Danelle will be there to mete out spankings and flogging — pay for eating too much turkey, boy!

In addition to buying swats for yourself, you can buy them for your friends as well.  What’s that?  Your so-called friends bought you a spanking and you don’t want to submit?  Tell you what: donate an equal amount and we’ll let you off the hook.  (evil grin)

We will also be offering tickets for a prize raffle, with a number of great items available, including a women’s leather jacket, a paddle, cards featuring kinky gingerbread men, and even a fabulous pie (donated by Northwest LeatherMOM, my own mother).  Yes, it’s true: on Thanksgiving, you can’t get away from food!

Proceeds from Spanksgiving will go to support the 2013 Leather Leadership Conference, which will be held in Seattle.

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Updated on December 1, 2011:

Spanksgiving 2011 raised roughly $450 for the 2013 Leather Leadership Conference.