What is a “Stage Fantasy”?

(Note: The content below is heavily biased to my own opinions and preferences, and thus certainly is not Gospel Truth, the only way to do a Fantasy.  Any time someone says words like “should”, “only way”, or “real”, you know your bullshit alarms should [ahem!] start ringing…)

What is a “Stage Fantasy”?

A Stage Fantasy is typically a staged presentation of BDSM leathersex scene, lasting a few minutes and using simulated sex (although there are fantasies which don’t feature anything sexual, playing for emotional content instead).  Sometimes a Stage Fantasy is serious, sometimes comedic, and sometimes performance art of its own.

A Stage Fantasy is primarily for entertainment purposes.  It is not a BDSM demo, and it is not a workshop; it should not try to be either of these.

The Stage Fantasy used to be a staple of leather contests; there was even a International Mr. Fantasy title (near the bottom of the page) from 1995 to 1998.  In recent years, the inclusion of a Fantasy component in men’s leather contests has largely drifted away, although the women’s contests continue to have them.  It is not part of the International Mr. Leather contest, so many feeders to that do not require a Fantasy, replacing it with a Speech (or sometimes with nothing at all).  The International LeatherSIR/Leatherboy contest does include a Stage Fantasy.  As part of being a “play”-oriented title, the contestants are expected to be active BDSM/sex/kink players and to be able to present such in the contest, guided by themes assigned randomly to each region.

Some contests do still include a Fantasy component in a limited scope, such as a themed costume or outfit (beyond formal wear/bar wear) or a solo segment where all contestants do the same base concept (such as an on-stage shower scene).  And at least the year I won it (2006), International Mr. Saliva (bottom of the page) was at its core a Fantasy-based title: best presentation of slobbering all over someone won.  (I fucking earned my light yellow hanky, let me tell you!)

Why Listen to Me?

I do have some experience here.  As noted above, I was International Mr. Saliva 2006, out-licking three other men and one woman for my title.  I also did shower scenes forMr. International Rubber twice, Northwest Image costuming for Seattle Leather Daddy twice (and advised several other contestants), and I choreographed two American Leatherman fantasies (my own, and Rusty’s the year he won), a solo fantasy for Mr. Leather OutGames, and my title contest fantasy this year.  Rusty’s title fantasy, my OutGames fantasy, and this year’s title fantasy were all re-presented at Northwest Sash Bash the next year.

I also have done over 15 years of country-western dance performance teams and I was part of the VisQueens (link is to a video of one of our best routines), Seattle’s leather/bear/drag performing group.

And of course, I have seen dozens of fantasies and erotica show pieces (which are often basically the same thing) over the years, analyzing the ones I liked (and the ones I didn’t) to determine what worked (and what failed).

A Fantasy Tells a Story

As noted above, a Stage Fantasy is not a demo or a workshop, it is a presentation.  In my opinion, a Stage Fantasy should tell a story.  In classic storytelling parlance, there should be an introduction, a complication, an action, a climax, and a conclusion, with the characters left in a different state than they were at the start.  If you don’t tell a story, then you are just providing a vignette, a view into a story in progress but without context and completion.

That may sound complex, but consider a common fantasy (or porno) “plot”: the sexy deliveryman brings a package and ends up fucking with the customer until they both are sexually sated (and then he leaves to deliver the next package).  You have your setting (the customer’s house), your characters (the deliveryman and the customer), your complication (the delivery of the package, the sexual attraction), the action (fucking), the climax (the climax!), and the conclusion (the deliveryman leaves).  Presto, a story has been told.  No one said it had to be a great story, just a story.)

Now consider the non-story vignette version: two naked guys fuck and cum.  Who are they?  Don’t know.  Why are the naked?  So they can fuck.  Why are they fucking?  Why are you asking these questions, just start jacking, man!  What’s going to happen next?  Doesn’t matter, since once you cum, you don’t care any more.  A vignette can be entertaining in its narrow way, but it isn’t a story.

For a Stage Fantasy, you have two types of people in your audience: those who want a story, and those who just want to see some action.  Stories pervade our society, so those who really want just the action are fine with a little story around the edges, but those who want story are usually not fine if you jump right into the sex.

Who Is Your Audience?

Doing a Stage Fantasy in a contest, you have two related but separate audiences: the Judges and Everyone Else.

For the Judges, they are likely looking with an analytic eye.  If there’s a specified theme, did you work with it well?  Did you make good use of your time (or did you drag things out way too long)?  Was the action clear (or was it blocked from view)?  Did you make good use of music and lighting?  If there was dialogue, was it clear?  And so forth.  You can plan on your judges paying attention to every bit of your fantasy, but you can also plan on them paying attention to every bit of it.

Everyone Else is just there to be entertained.  They usually don’t give a flying fuck if you adhere to a theme.  They care that it engages them — attracts their attention and keeps it.  The general audience is also very fickle: if they like it, they will let you know, but if they don’t like it, or if they are bored by it, they probably won’t let you know… they’ll just ignore you.  And when they ignore you, the judges will notice.

There’s actually a third audience: Yourself.  If you aren’t into the presentation (if it’s a sex scene that doesn’t turn you on) or you don’t like the theme, the judges will notice that your performance is lacking.  You need to make sure that you are engaged in the fantasy and that the fantasy engages you.  (These are separate things.)  And as any performer will tell you, your worst critic is yourself.  You notice everything tiny thing that you fucked up or that didn’t come off right, and no one can beat you up for these things as well as you can.

Keep Them Entertained

Here is the secret they don’t tell you about Stage Fantasies at contests: the audience could generally care less.  They are there to drink, to socialize, and to be entertained.  The moment you stop entertaining them, they go back to drinking and socializing, even if you’re still on stage beating on someone.

So how do you keep them entertained?  Aye, there’s the rub!  You can count on the audience giving you 20–30 seconds for free: when your bit is announced, they will all quiet down and pay attention for a few moments, just to see if you are going to do anything interesting.  (They want you to do something interesting.  They didn’t pay to attend the contest just to chit chat.)  Which means that by 20 seconds in, you’d better be doing something.  That doesn’t mean you have to start the sex part right away, just that you need to be obviously leading to something they want to see.

You know what they don’t want to see?  Something they have already seen before!  (If I see another military takedown and rape scene in my life, I may scratch my eyes out.)  20 seconds in and they will be thinking “Is this a familiar setup, something I’ve seen done before?”  And if their immediate answer is “Yes”, boom, they take a drink and start chatting with their buddy.  So if you are going to do “yet another military takedown and rape” (YAMTAR) for your Fantasy, you’ve got to have some story or staging there that tells the audience “You haven’t seen this one!”

Just because you are 20 seconds in an you’ve caught their attention, that doesn’t mean you’re golden.  Nope, what it means is that in another 20–30 seconds, you have to keep that attention.  There are three ways to do that: excel, innovate, or violate.  “Excel” meaning that while what you’re doing may be standard, it is also note-perfect, hot, and engaging.  People will watch the same porn over again, but only if it gets them hard; if you’re just doing that YAMTAR the standard way, people get bored.  “Innovate” meaning that while you are doing something that initially looks standard, you are mixing it up.  If you are giving a new twist on an old standard, people may be intrigued enough to watch a bit longer… if they notice the twist.  “Violate” meaning you aren’t even doing something standard, you are setting expectations and then twisting or changing them.  People are more likely to notice this and will allow you to recapture their attention.

Now you’re a minute in, though, and you’ve got somewhere on the order of three minutes more to go.  You can’t coast now, because the audience’s attention is drifting again.  If any segment of your Fantasy is going on and on (and on), you are giving the audience a “jumping off” point, an invitation to stop paying attention.  You have to keep Excelling, Innovating, or Violating all the way through, keeping the audience’s attention every 20–30 seconds through the entire Stage Fantasy.

And finally, you need to have Climax and an Ending.  In part, you can argue that this isn’t totally necessary — when the lights go down, the action stops and you leave the stage, and it’s over.  But a segment of the audience (and especially the judges) want to see that you have presented a complete idea, that you can follow things through and not leave it hanging.  (If you prefer: you’ll get a lot more applause if things are complete than if they just thud.)  How you present and complete your Stage Fantasy says something about how you plan, execute, and complete anything as a leatherperson.

(As an aside, go back to what I wrote above and replace “Stage Fantasy” with “Speech”.  A contest Speech should have a through-line, an idea that is introduced, built, climaxes, and concludes.  It should be aimed at both the Judges and Everyone Else.  After the first small chunk, it has to catch people’s attention and repeatedly keep their attention.  And so forth.)

Examples (Good and Bad)

The first full Stage Fantasy I did was for American Leatherman 2005.  I decided to go heavily for the Innovate tactic, intending to present the judges and audience with something they had probably neverseen before in a Fantasy.  Since I had been a country-western performance dancer and choreographer for over a decade, I decided to do the fantasy as a swing dance routine, telling the story through dance.  Using a cover of the Elvis song “Wear My Ring Around My Neck”, I (and my boyfriend/dance partner) alternated between a swing dance segment (repeating each chorus) and excerpts from a growing leather scene or relationship, building from dick sucking to fucking to flogging, culminating in a collaring at the very end, followed by a stage exit with an excerpt from “Teddy Bear” (“Put a chain around my neck and lead me anywhere”).  You’ll notice that in addition to innovating by doing a dance routine, I made sure that there was always something new for the audience every 30 seconds or so (but also always returning to something familiar to ensure that they touched base), and I had a clear build of intensity of the sex portions through the routine culminating in a clear ending which stitched into the very familiar music — there was no way someone was going to not watch the whole thing unless they hated Elvis.  (Was the fantasy successful?  While I didn’t win the contest [second runner-up], my fantasy scores were either second or third, so it was at least good enough.  I was personally happy with the fantasy, and it did get mentioned after the contest by other people, so it was memorable enough.)

One failure of a fantasy I saw a good 15 years ago was a “magic tricks with rope bondage” piece done at a San Francisco Bay Area contest.  While it was quite different, the fact that it required a lot of talking from the contestant was problematic on its own, and then the magic tricks didn’t show well to an audience 30 or more feet away.  It was slow, and quiet, and totally not engaging for the audience.  It would have been great for a demo, maybe, but the staging sucked so badly that it is still in my head all this time later as a hugely bad example.

Probably the best fantasy I’ve ever seen was Lori Ellison’s watermelon fantasy she did for International Ms. Leather, which I got to see her do two more times.  After cutting a hole in a watermelon and fingering it, fucking it with a strap one, tearing the hole bigger and fisting and then two-handed fisting it, she dumped the remaining watermelon smoothie over her head.  I do it a horrible disservice in this terse description, but suffice to say, you could feel both the women and most of the gay men in the audience squirming in their seats, appalled to be thinking “Fuck, I want her!”   Absolute minimal staging and props (watermelon, knife, strap-on), but by constantly changing/upping the ante, she kept the audience riveted.

For Rusty’s American Leatherman fantasy, we started with the old saw of the deliveryman bringing in a package, then violated it by having him push the horny delivery man out the door so he could open the package.  (Music: “Stand and Deliver”)  Then he opened the box and started pulling out inflatable sheep, plus some gloves and Crisco to start fisting one of them.  (Music: “Little Lamb” from Gypsy)  Then the box shook and out tumbled a boy dressed as a sheep (cotton balls glued on underwear and a t-shirt), and they wrestled.  (Music: “Dirty Deeds Done with Sheep”)  Finally, Rusty (who is a hair stylist) pulled out a pair of hair clippers (music cue: the very recognizable whistle/scream from Sweeney Todd) and chased the sheep-boy off stage.  Again, very regular changing of the theme, plus playing his personal life/career into the fantasy.

As an example of things to avoid, and speaking of music, at one contest I attended, the step-down speeches followed one of the fantasies, and the stepping-down titleholder made explicit negative mention of the song used in the just-finished fantasy, one of those pieces of music (this one from Nine Inch Nails) that has been used in so many fantasies that it triggered “Oh god, not again” reactions.  If your first reaction is to use something “obvious”, you’re in YAMTAR territory; reconsider.

“God Is in the Details”, but Don’t Overdo It

To me, this quote (which I picked up from Stephen Sondheim) means that perfection or elegance (God) reveals itself as you examine something closer.

From the reference point of a Stage Fantasy, a better one (closer to perfect or more elegant) will be created if you put more detail into it.  Just “winging it” with the barest story idea can get you  something acceptable (or sometimes, can get you an Epic Fail, but you will tend to have portions that are unclear, or too short, or too long (and thus boring).

So think about the story you are trying to tell.  Think about the emotions you are trying to evoke.  Think about the members of the audience you are aiming at.  (You are trying to make something hot for people into some given fetish or activity, right?)  Think about your music.  Think about your lighting.  Think about your dialogue.  Think about your props.

And then step back and put yourself in the place of the audience, at the event: would you be interested in and entertained by the Fantasy, at least to the degree those are desirable goals?  If the answer is anything but “Hell, yes”, go think some more.

All that said, another quote comes up: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.  Applied here: you can focus too much on the details.  First, you can’t depend on having variability of music or lighting, nor amplification for dialog.  Second, you can’t please everyone (or if you are trying to offend them, you can’t do that, either).  Third, this is a sex fantasy, so too much plot detracts.

And fourth and probably most important: while “winging it” tends to produce uneven results, overthinking it can suck all the passion out.  Practice the Fantasy enough to be sure of your blocking, your timing, and your dialog, but then leave it alone!  If it becomes routine for you, the audience and judges will notice.

West Coast Rubber 2012 • February 24–26

This is the 8th year for West Coast Rubber.  I attended the inaugural one in 2005 in Palm Springs, on the weekend Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.  (With the 100+ degree heat making us sweat profusely, draining into rubber shirts and shorts and releasing ounces, even cups of liquid at a time, there were now-tasteless jokes about “breaching the levee”.)  I attended again in 2006, but after that, they moved it to Los Angeles, a city that doesn’t hold any attraction for me as a destination place, so I didn’t keep going.  I decided to go again in 2010, to reconnect with my rubber roots, and I had an okay time, although there was still no attraction for me to go to L.A.  (Read about that trip here.)  Now, though, they have moved it back to Palm Springs, and to February, where temps will top out at only about 82 degrees (“Heaven” for those of us from colder climates, in other words!).  I’m totally there!

My Rubber Roots

I first got into rubber in 1997 or so, after dating a guy who had some (but never wore it while we were dating).  I bought a rubber shirt from Mr. S at IML that year, and acquired a whole crapload of rubber attire and gear over the next several years.

In 1998 (I think), I competed for San Francisco Leather Daddy’s Boy, but wore rubber for the contest, and was later advised that that may have had an effect on me not winning.  In November 1999, though, I competed for Mr. International Rubber (2nd runner-up).  I then became a charter member of Rubber Men of San Francisco Bay (and designed the logos they used for years), and had them sponsor me to compete for International again in 2000 (2nd runner-up again, with a larger contestant field).

After moving to Seattle, I continued to attend (but not compete) for MIR for several years, including one year that I was suffering from Hep B the entire time, not aware of why I was sick until I got home.  I also started attending Rubbout in Vancouver (before I moved to Seattle, in fact, and it was he return drive to Seattle that convinced me to move from California), and have only missed one year of it since then.

Leather titles and a live-in relationship (with a live-in teenager) put a damper on my rubber time, but it has never been far from my heart, and I’m trying to recapture some of it these days.  This year is partially a good time for this, because while Northwest LeatherSIR is technically a “leather” title, it is a play title and embraces the play activities which work well/better/best/only in rubber as much as those which are best in leather (or in nothing at all).

Thursday

For this trip, I decided to take my portable sling.  My friend Bill recommended a rolling long bag for such (almost a golf club bag), and I found one from Coleman at the local Ross store.  Unfortunately, the bag itself is heavy enough that I couldn’t take the new frame, only the old one, and even then, the cross pieces, sling, and tie downs (a recommendation from my friend Matt, rather than chains) had to go in my carry-on to keep the bag just under 50 lbs.  But it is indeed much easier to transport.  And since the sling poles only fill the bottom compartment, I could put my nasty heavy carry-on in the top compartment to make transporting it also easier.

D. came over on Thursday night and helped me paw through my rubber, to figure out what I would take.  As usual, I took more than I ended up actually wearing, but really that was only a pair of shorts and a couple shirts more than needed, so not too bad.  Still, with the sling pieces as well as plenty of rubber, that carry-on was heavy.

D. also got the chance to try on some of my rubber.  Poof: instant rubber boy!  He took right to the latex and the Nasty Pig stuff (nice to have non-leather options for him), and I also took the opportunity to put him in the new neoprene hood and cuffs, use the rubber floggers on him, and so forth.

Friday

The trip to the airport and the flight were uneventful, except for the hard, hard landing in Long Beach.  I did discover another thing I don’t recommend people do: don’t watch episodes of Pan Am (featuring the glories of 1960s air travel) while flying on modern aircraft.

West Coast Rubber had all of Camp Palm Springs reserved (about 40 rooms).  This was the first time I’ve stayed there.  It was fine — a bit “dumpy”, but not out of the range of either what is acceptable or where I’ve stayed on previous trips.  The pillows were not comfortable, though, and the DVD player in my room wouldn’t play any of the DVDs they had for check out.  (Probably needs cleaning badly.)

I went down to Gear and bought a neoprene swimsuit/jock with the ass cut out.  Matthew was working that day (the same hunky hair guy I mentioned with the previous Palm Springs trip).

Friday night was a Meet & Greet and then a play party.  While there was a good crowd for the former, most guys didn’t hang around or didn’t play much.  Had a little fun, but only a little (just rub, wank, and suck).

Saturday

I tried to go to Sherman’s Deli for breakfast, but much of downtown Palm Springs was shut down for a parade.  Not sure if it was for Modernism Week or something else (someone said Black History Month, which is in February, so maybe).  Once I got to Sherman’s, there was a line out the door, so I went north to Rick’s Restaurant instead.  Also with a line out the door, but I was by myself, so I got immediate seating at the counter.  (I remember as a kid, I always wanted to sit at the counter at diners, but we never got to but maybe once or twice.  It still always feel like a cross between exotic and trucker.)  Catfish and eggs was the special that enticed me.  Online later, I got hit on by two guys who saw me (and my red hanky) during breakfast.

On Saturday, we had a BBQ and pool party.  Nice and relaxing, and rubber boys do like being in the pool in their rubber.  (Leather boys in their leather, not so much.)

At 5 pm, we had a rubber dinner in gear at Trio, with about 35 of us at four tables.  They had to move the reservation up from 6 pm because the restaurant was sold out later, due to Modernism Week, I think.  I gave a ride to some of the Vancouver boys, but getting them in their gear, shined up, and out the door was like herding cats.  Slicked up cats.  We were almost the last to arrive as a result.  While we were waiting, though, Paul from Vancouver took a couple nice pics of me in my rubber, which will be my cruise site profile pic for the next few months.

On the way back to my car, we chanced upon a gallery storefront featuring work by the artist SHAG.  It only took me a moment to connect the name and art style to an artist Cliff had told me about who does a lot of retro-styled modern tiki work.  We had to go in.  The gallery owner (I assume) got a kick out of having rubber guys in the store and after I took this pic of Reid (Mr. West Coast Rubber), he took one of the four of us with the big wall tiki.

After dinner, there was supposed to be the Mr. West Coast Rubber contest and then a play party, but apparently there were no contestants.  For a weekend like this, while unfortunate, that isn’t fatal.  Most of the guys attending are happy to have a contest, but we aren’t coming just for one.  So the contest got replaced by a bar crawl.

This was fine with me.  I had received an invite on Manhunt to a cocktail party where I would told some of the Desert Fetish Authority guys would be.  I asked him about dress code for it, but never heard back, so I went in rubber chaps, neoprene harness, and title vest.

While some of the DFA guys were likely in attendance, it was not a leathermen’s cocktail party.  Other than a couple guys in leather pants with their casual attire shirts, I was the only one in leather (rubber, etc.), and doubly so the only one with no shirt and his ass hanging out.  Social faux pas?  Perhaps.  But I remembered one of the things I was told two decades ago in San Francisco: “While some people may look askance at you for attending the opera in your leather pants, vests, and tux shirt, remember that what you’re wearing probably cost as much as what they’re wearing.”  So given the choice between turning tail or just acting like I belonged there, I chose the latter.

There were of course several leather guys there.  Eric, whom I played with on the last trip, was happy to see me, and he introduced me to a few other people.  I got the chance to explain some hanky code basics to a couple guys, including the idea that you can flag whatever hanky or stripe on your chaps or what not that you like, even if you aren’t into fisting or piss or whichever activity the color “means”, but what you can’t do (better not do) is either be unaware of the message you are sending with what you are displaying or be offended when someone makes the obvious assumption.

Ken and Bob (?), the owners of Gear were there, and Matthew was tending bar.  Curtis, one of the hosts and the guy who invited me, is an old acquaintance from square dancing in the Bay Area in the 1990s; we hadn’t even seen each other for 15 years until a chance meeting at Chaps Inn on my last trip.  Randy, another square dance friend from the Bay Area, was also there, as was John, who recognized me from my days at Adobe Systems in the 90s.  (I guess my looks haven’t changed a whole lot.)  There were also a couple transplants from Montréal, one a former titleholder and the other one of the founders of Club Bolo whom I knew just barely through IAGLCWDC channels.

After leaving the party, I headed to the Barracks in Cathedral City, expecting to meet up with the rubber boys, but it was pretty empty.  I did chat with Red, one of the security guys, who said that they get some undercover cops in on Sundays, looking for ways and reasons to shut the bar down.  (Never mind the large amount of slosh-over income that restaurants and such in the area get from it, it has gays having a good time, and that must be stopped!  “Watchdog has spoken!”)

Over at the Tool Shed, I found the rubber boys just hadn’t made it past there.  And since it was hopping there, no wonder!  After a couple beers, I headed back to the resort, running into Alex and Flip from Seattle.  Flip had a piece of art in the Erotic Art Expo that was being displayed at the Tool Shed.

I also got to see my buddy John, who has become a regular play buddy each time I come to town.

Sunday

Sunday morning, after playing until 3:30 am, I dragged my ass out of bed and down to Lulu California Bistro for brunch with the rubber guys, about 16 of us I think.  Lulu is huge inside and looks like it turns into a nightclub at night.  The menu is vast, and the food was pretty good (and abundant, 1/4 of my croissant sandwich came back to the resort with me to join some leftover catfish from the day before; they would be dinner later on).

After brunch, had an hour’s phone call with my co-chair for the upcoming Emerald City Hoedown, talking schedule details and the like.  Another pool party was on Sunday afternoon, smaller.  I ended up with a small sunburn, which made it hard to get up from a later nap.  Hied myself out to the Barracks, though.  Again ran into last year’s California LeatherSIR, Todd.  Also swapped some kisses and fondles with Mark, Kevin, and Daniel; the latter had been at the cocktail party the night before.  And with another Mark and Dino.  I also fielded a phone call about eventual ownership of the Northwest title sashes (GLPW owns them, but they aren’t the title producers any more, so what to do with them now?).

I stopped back at the Tool Shed and met up with Mark and Dino again, and then back to the resort where I had a play session with a hot guy named Rick.

The weather dropped more than 10 degrees Sunday night and a huge wind storm came through — very loud and cold.

Monday

Today I got to Sherman’s for breakfast.

Packing up, I passed a partial bottle of Bushmill’s whiskey on to one of the guys who drove out from Los Angeles, and passed some beer and unopened Crisco sticks on to other guys still around who might use them.  I knew I didn’t have weight to spare in my sling bag to take stuff, nor could I take them in the carry-on.

Sporting pins on my vest for events I’ve been to and this my second trip to Palm Springs with the title, I wanted to get a Palm Springs pin.  Q Trading Post had none (but I picked up a bear paw pin there), but I found some generic Palm Springs pins at Rite-Aid; better than nothing.  (I’ve debated snagging the PSLOD pin from my Mr. Northwest Cub vest, the one John gave me last summer; I may still do that as well.)

The wind had definitely heralded a change in the weather, with rain squalls all the way to Long Beach.  I had looked at options for renting a motorcycle or scooter for this trip; I would love to do the ride to Palm Springs on one, but they are prohibitively expensive.  (Obviously, I would not have brought the sling in that case!)  Sure glad I wasn’t on one coming back in the rain.

I do like flying in and out of Long Beach airport.  While they are expanding the airport now, it is still pretty darn small, so the walk from rental car return to ticket counter to gate is the equivalent of about a block.  I was struck at the airport that I always want to add letters to their abbreviation, though: LGB?  No, LGBTQ!

LeatherSIR?

Hmm.

Presented without further comment.

Mr. & Ms. Alameda County Leather Contest

I've been invited to judge the Alameda County Leather Corps contest in Hayward, CA at the end of June:

Mr. & Ms. Alameda County Leather 2012 Fri. June 29 and Sat June 30th The meet and Greet for the 21st Mr. & Ms. Alameda County Leather contest will be held at the World Famous Turf club Fri. June 29th starting at 6:30pm with a bbq and meet the contestants. Sat. June 30th continues with the Mr. & Ms. Alameda County title contest at the Humanists Hall in Oakland CA. Our judging panel for this year includes  The first Mr. Alameda County Leather Mark McKee, American LeatherWoman 2011 Trinity, Miss San Francisco Leather Bethie Bee, Northwest Leather Sir Jim Drew and Ms. World Leather 2001 Annie Romano. American Leatherboy Tyler will be judges boy and Mr. Alameda County Leather 1999 Mark Ingham will be tally master. Application attached and tickets availible soon.

Technically, I invited them to invite me.  When their first call for contestants went out in January, I sent them the offer to come down and be a judge for the contest.

Alameda County Leather Corps holds a place in my heart and my leather history, you see.  They were the first leather club I was a member of.  In the late 1990s, I lived in San Mateo (across the Bay from Hayward), a community with (to my knowledge) nothing to speak of in terms of a gay community, much less a leather one.  In the early 1990s, I had live further south, in San José and Sunnyvale, so despite doing most of my playing in San Francisco, I still felt my roots were or should be more toward the peninsula and the South Bay.  With the Brotherhood in San José not formed yet, Alameda County Leather Corps was my only option.

I really don't recommend trying to cross the San Mateo or Dumbarton bridges at late rush hour to get to 7:00 meetings.

There were four of us, I think, in my “class” when I joined, two of whom were Andrew “Bootdog” Johnson (International Mr. Bootblack 2008) and Joan Norry (American Leatherwoman 2008).  ACLC raises ’em right, let me tell you.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Boot Maintenance

On Tuesday, February 7, Northwest Community Bootblack 2012 Ruin — my “SashBlack”, I’m her “SashSIR” — did a workshop called “Bootblacking 101: Simple, Speedy, and Sexy” at the Center for Sex-Positive Culture.

Over the course of about 45 minutes, she walked us through basic bootblacking — remove gunk, lightly wash, apply polish, remove excess polish, work the polish in, and buff to a shine.  She also addressed ways to make the blacking service sexy, whether in a public environment or private play.  Then she had us all do a basic blacking job on a boot we had brought (we were also to bring some basic supplies that she specified).

She intentionally avoided addressing more advanced subject such as blacking leather gear, dealing with oil tan and non-leather boots (although we discussed some of that in the Q&A), edge dressing, lacing styles, stripping polish, repairs, and so forth, since this was aimed as an introductory (“Simple”) workshop.  Daddy Wendell (past Northwest LeatherSIR and author of Making Leather Gear [go buy it]) was also there to aid, abet, and advise.

Just by having your boots done a few time, watching the bootblacks and seeing the similarities between when they all do, you can’t help but pick up most of this up.  (Of course, I’m the sort who does pay attention like that; lots of guys don’t or don’t care to.)  I did have a few specific questions, stuff like “About how much polish to you use as a starter amount?” and “Will putting a petroleum-based polish on oil-tan boots actually damage them, and in what way/how badly?”

I have never actually blacked my own boots before.  For years, I wasn’t even cognizant of the option and didn’t do more than clean them; so far as I can remember, there simply was no active bootblacking visible in the San Francisco Bay Area leather community in the 1990s.  A few years ago, I had a boyfriend who did mine a few times, and more recently, I have utilized the skilled services of our local and regional bootblacks.  So to that end, this was a great workshop for me specifically because of the expectation that the attendees actually get down and do the job.  (And I get a nicely spiffed up pair of my lace-up cowboy boots out of the deal.)

(I should revise that: I had never blacked my leather boots before.  Having been big into rubber in the past, and having competed for Mr. International Rubber twice, I have dealt with the equivalent of bootblacking for rubber boots before, and have advised some bootblacks on dealing with rubber boots in the past.)

I’ll never do blacking in any sort of a formal role — my neck, back, and knees couldn’t take it — but it’s great to be able to do an serviceable job on my own.  And to get a better understanding of what Ruin and her fellow bootblacks do… that’s invaluable.

(The contestant in me knows that at least one of my judges at International is a boot enthusiast, so I should be prepared for comments and questions about my boots.  Knowing boot blacking fundamentals is a plus there.)

Fundraising Through Better Fisting #2

The second of my title-year Chez Poing fisting parties has now come and gone.  (I’m not going to go into all the background and logistics on the subject again.  The earlier post has all that.)

• Invites went out to 92 guys.  Positive RSVPs came back for 34 (just under the 35-person cap), plus 9 “maybe/if I can” responses (of which I only expected a couple to show; that’s how those go).  25 guys showed, which is a little lower than I expected (I was aiming for 28, just above the largest party to date).  Out of town guests included Dariusz from Vancouver (who comes to almost every party) and Julio from Chicago.
• This was the second anniversary of the Chez Poing parties, although only the 8th one because I had to cancel May 2010 when my grandmother broke her hip.
• We had unseasonably warm weather for February, a run of 5 or 6 days that were sunny with highs in the low to mid 50s.
• Guys were great about bringing snacks and beverages.  I don’t think I’ll need to buy any beverages or chips for the May party.  (Robert was especially generous.  I asked him to pick up salsa, cookies, soda, and ice; he brought salsa, hummus, chips, cookies, soda, beer, and ice.  Lesson: this is what happens when you send a horny guy to the store on an empty stomach!)
• After expenses, another $168 from the Fist Kitty for my title travel fund.
• Special thanks to Cliff for trimming the ivy on my stairs and other exterior work; Cliff, Robert, and Rick for setup; Cliff and Rick for Sunday teardown (and joining me for dim sum); and Cliff and Bill for the loan of additional slings.

Next party will probably be Saturday, May 12.

Future fisting adventures:

• I plan to attend Fist Fest in Palm Springs in June.
• I have submitted proposals to be a presenter at Northern Exposure in Anchorage this summer.  Included are ones for sessions on Anal Fisting, Play Party Etiquette, and Hosting Play Parties.
• I’m looking into how to take the party on the road to Portland, probably with a couple afternoon workshops added on.
• I have access to a cabin at Lake Cushman (2.5 hours from Seattle) and hope to do a weekend–long party out there later this year.

Mid-Atlantic Leather 2012 • January 13–16, 2012

This was my 13th annual trip to Washington DC for Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend (URL).  It’s really Mr. Marcus’ (URL) fault: in early 1999, he asked if he had seen me at MAL that year, and when I said no, he told me I should go.  So I did.

I often tell people that they should go to IML or Folsom twice — the second time so they can realize that they enjoyed it more the first time.  That’s because the scope of those events are so huge, they can overwhelm you the first time, but a second time gives you the chance to evaluate what parts of the hugeness and spectacle work for you and what don’t.  In comparison, Mid-Atlantic Leather is to International Mr. Leather (URL) as Up Your Alley/Dore Alley (URL) is to Folsom Street Fair (URL) — still plenty big enough to bring in the critical mass to have a great, memorable weekend, but not so large as to be lost in the mass.  (So you should go at least three times.)

I don’t always buy the MAL weekend package — the REACTION dance in particular is a waste for me, and that’s a fair chunk of the price — but this year as a titleholder, I needed to be at the contest and at Leather Cocktails, so I sprung for it.

You can read more about my past MAL experiences here (URL).

Planes, Trains, and Automo… Hotel Rooms

One of the downsides to traveling from the West Coast to the East for events is the time lost in air travel.  Unless you can wrangle a direct flight, you loose the entire day  leave at 9 am, arrive at 7 pm.  (Coming back, of course, you get it all back [except for two tablespoons (URL)].)  So I was on the Delta (URL) red-eye Thursday night, into Minneapolis (MSP) and then to Baltimore (BWI).

Fortunately, I’ve learned some tricks for flying a red-eye:

• My usual bed time is after midnight anyway, so I’m heading toward sleep mode when I get to the airport.  No coffee in the evening to make sure I’m not kept awake.
• Get a window seat, to have something to lean against.
• Get a travel blindfold and earplugs.
• Take a travel bottle of alcohol (2–3 oz, in your toiletry bag in your carry-on) and imbibe around boarding.  This will help knock you out.  (For a long flight, going overseas, use NyQuil.  I don’t recommend that for an in-country night flight, though, especially one with a plane switch; you’ll be too groggy to function well.)
• For the trips to DC, I have a leather trench coat which I take for that event and otherwise only use a couple days a year.  It makes for a nice blanket.

The flight to MSP was uneventful.  I slept most of the three hours.  I did notice that our flight was the only thing going out of SEA after midnight, meaning that everyone in the airport other than staff was either on an overnight layover or on our flight.  Pretty damn deserted.

The woman in the aisle seat of my row, Laura, was heavily pregnant with twins, but still a couple months out from birth.

The flight from MSP to BWI was underpopulated, so we could spread out some.  I got a Caribou Coffee (URL) French Toast muffin (yummy) during the layover, but no coffee, and then slept the two hours to BWI, until ugly turbulence near Baltimore woke me up (some of the worst I’ve been in).  Laura was again in the same row, but across the aisle.  (And coming back to Seattle on Monday, Laura was again on both flights, two rows back on the first leg.)

Breakfast at BWI was coffee and a horrible piece of cheese pizza.  I caught the shuttle to the MARC train (URL), and then literally walked onto the train as soon as I got to the platform.  (Nice, since otherwise I would have to wait an hour for the next one.)  Then schlepped the bags a few blocks from Union Station (URL) to the Hyatt Regency Capitol Hill (URL).  (The new MAL hotel is much more convenient for train travelers than the Washington Plaza (URL) was.)

My roommate for the weekend was Ed, who lives in Maryland about an hour’s drive away.  We met (and played) a couple years ago.  He’s also a fister, so he brought his sling, arriving at the hotel about 90 minutes after me.  After I did some shopping, I laid down for a nap.  Probably 10 minutes later, in came Ed with a play buddy.  I told them to have fun, popped in my earplugs, and rolled over.  About 90 minutes later when I got up, Ed was playing with a different guy, and I never noticed him come in!

Shopping

One of the great aspects of MAL is that it is large enough to support a valid vendors market.  While not as huge as IML’s by any means, it still has maybe 30 vendors, including the likes of Mr. S (URL), LeatherMasters (URL), Ft. Troff (URL), CJ’s Leather (URL), Rubio (URL), NastyPig (URL), Tribal Son (URL), and many other stores and manufacturers of note.  Pretty much anything you want, you can get there.

The exception is porn.  When MAL was at the Plaza, DickWadd (URL) would always have a big table, blaring out their bareback porn vids on several screens at high volume.  This always irritated me a bit — not just because of the bareback nature, but the audio level was jarring and they tended to cause traffic jams.  I know IML has made a point of restricting some of the porn displays, especially the bareback producers, and I assume MAL has done similar.  They may have restricted all video porn, given that not only is DickWadd no longer present, none of the other companies have booths there either.  (Manhunt (URL) had a table, but they aren’t primarily video porn and had no screen displays anyway.)

As I’ve noted before, after 20+ years in leather, there’s little in the way of major items I don’t have that I want to buy.  This generally saves my wallet in the vendors mart.  Last year, my major purchase was a rubber apron.  This year, I bought a belt from The Bonding Company (URL), a butt plug and some nipple suction toys from Ft. Troff, some inhalants, a pin and a leather flag motorcycle license plate frame, and so on.

The most prominent purchase I made this year was a pair of neoprene wrist cuffs from Mr. S, to use with a boy I’ve been playing with who is vegan (and thus isn’t a fan of leather cuffs).  As a side-effect, the rubbery nature of these means they will slip less when in use; you’ve probably seen how tugging on leather cuffs will slide part of the cuff out and loosen things or pinch the skin, but these don’t do that as much.  I also investigated a neoprene hood for him, with removable eye and mouth guards, but they only had medium size.  (So I ordered a large one a couple days ago.)

Manhunt was giving away scarves with their logo in them.  That’s a good awareness of the time and place of the event — temps hovered just below freezing all weekend.  I will now store that scarf with the trench coat and be using it at MAL every year for some time to come.  They were also giving away peppermint lip balm (“chapsticks”, but that’s a trademarked name), also a great idea in a dry winter climate.  Good marketing, Manhunt!

Cocktails and Contests

Mid-Atlantic Leather grew out of an event called “Leather Cocktails” (URL) started by the Centaurs MC some thirty years ago, and that still forms the centerpiece of the MAL weekend.  Today, Leather Cocktails is a semi-formal event — get into the dress(ier) leathers, leave the slut attire in the room — and arguably the premier fancy leather event of the year.

The event is what it says it is, a big leather cocktail party, with a hosted bar and fancy appetizers (brie and cranberry pastry, multiple types of hamburger sliders, risotto with bay scallops prepared at the table, and so on; sufficient options to make for a light dinner).  This year, they either had really good dessert options or way too little of them prepared, because I never saw but one person with a plate of them, plus the empty dessert table.

I initially debated whether to treat Leather Cocktails as a sash event (URL) — I haven’t been to it in a few years, and my previous titles didn’t have sashes anyway, so I didn’t have a touchpoint for the trend.  I initially just wore the title vest, plus a leather shirt and my leather-accessorized Mac Leo kilt (URL), with tall boots.  Half an hour later, seeing the trend, I fetched the sash.

As an aside, I was pleased to see broad acceptance of kilts on the scene at MAL — and in DC in January, to boot, since they can be equated to “shorts weather” attire.  The kilt fad has faded in Seattle — not gone away but down to a normal level, no longer a “fad” (unless it’s set to bounce back this year!) — but I remember when it was at its height in Seattle but almost unknown in other parts of the country.  I wore mine to the bar at IML — in 2004 or so? — and you’d swear I was in drag, the number of guys who took a sudden interest in the ceiling.  This year at MAL, I didn’t detect any of that attitude.

The contest was held on Sunday afternoon (and that’s definitely a sash event).  This year, there were nine contestants — not a record, I think, but on the larger end from my memory of attending the contest in years past.

One of the unique items with MAL’s contest is that the contestants are asked a non-pop question: they get the question the day before (so they have a day to work on it) and craft it into a speech.  I can’t speak for the judges, of course, but as an audience member (and with a low tolerance for avoidance and bullshit), I was surprised that a couple of the contestants didn’t really answer their questions, one clearly dodged his, and one wandered all over the place for a couple minutes before finally answering his right at the end, almost as an afterthought.  While it’s valuable to tie in your personal leather themes and all that, remember that the audience expects you to answer the question, and if you don’t, you are letting them down.  (And the judges are partially paying attention to how the audience reacts to you.)  This isn’t just a matter of public speaking skills, it’s about keeping your goal in sight and actually getting there.

(Hell, you’d swear they were in a multi-candidate presidential debate: “How would you address the immigrant problem?”  “Immigrants aren’t nearly the problem that public funding for abortions are and this is how I would address that…”  Really, WTF?)

I spoke to one of the judges the next day, and he confirmed that the first and second place contestants were very clear in his scoring, and presumably for most of the judges, but third place wasn’t clear.  From the audience side, crowd reactions were clear matches for first and second, and probably for third (but I knew Matt a little personally, having met him at Folsom in September (URL), so his placement seemed reasonably clear to me but might not have been so to others).  This wasn’t just about stage-entering applause and such, though — in general, those three had good stage presence, character, and speaking ability in their question/speeches (including carry-through of question to answer, mentioned above).

Not strongly noted at the event, this was back-to-back wins for Pittsburgh, Matt Bronson following Doug (NAME) (who was a runner-up at IML).

Here is The Leather Journal’s coverage (URL) of this year’s event.

One thing that I found frustrating during the weekend was the low presence of other ILSb-family titleholders at the event, either last year’s or this year’s.  I met last year’s SIR and boy from Northeast, and last year’s boy and Bootblack from Mid-Atlantic.  Last year’s Northeast bootblack and this year’s Illinois Bootblack were also in the Parade of Titleholders, although I didn’t get to meet them directly.  International LeatherSIR Alan Penrod was also at the event, although I only saw him briefly, as was ILS 2006 (CHECK) Michael Congdon and apparently ILS 2010 Hugh, although I never saw him.  (I know he was supposed to be there and I’ve seen Facebook evidence, but we never ran into one another.  Hugh gave me a hard time at my contest this year about him seeing me once and only once at MAL 2011 — with the implication that I was busy playing the rest of the time — so I guess we’re even now).

I don’t have a handle on which feeder contests have occurred so far this year — Great Lakes, Northwest, Western Canada, others? — and I haven’t been seeing details on results or upcoming event dates.  As with the lack of ILSb family titleholders at Folsom last September, I would like to have the chance to meet some of my competitors (and the boys and bootblacks) ahead of the competition in July, but it doesn’t look like that will happen (unless I maybe get to CLAW (URL), but my April is going to be such a nasty mess that I don’t know if I can swing that).

Take Off Your Damned Hat

One thing that dismayed me during the contest was the number of guys in the audience wearing hats (oh, excuse me: “covers”) who apparently never learned that you take your hat off when the American flag is brought in and the National Anthem is played.  (Technically, military personnel in uniform are supposed to salute instead of removing the hat.  Few did that, likely because few have actually been in the military.)

Just in case you’ve got a question on this, here is the pertinent section from the government pamphlet Our Flag (page 11 of this PDF):

Title 36, Chapter 1—PATRIOTIC CUSTOMS

§301. National anthem; Star-Spangled Banner, conduct during playing

During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform should stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart.  Men not in uniform should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart.  Persons in uniform should render the military salute at the first note of the anthem and retain this position until the last note.  When the flag is not displayed, those present should face toward the music and act in the same manner they would if the flag were displayed there.

Take off the damned hat, or salute.  Show some respect.

(Boy, if this bit isn’t contest interview bait, I don’t know what is!)

Sex

Of course I’m going to save this subject for last.  How else an I’m going to get you to read the rest if I don’t use it as foreplay?  (grin)

In a nugget, this was the best MAL to date for me in terms of sex.  The last few years, I’ve gone to the FFA fisting parties (URL) more than once each weekend, technically keeping it as a reserve option if things weren’t looking good for play, but falling back to it regularly.  (Not that I’m saying that is a bad thing.  I love the FFA parties, and I missed seeing and playing with some of the guys I’ve met there the last few years.)

Part of having more and better sex this year is due to Ed having a sling in the room, although I actually only made use of it twice (and it’s not like you need a sling for fisting).   Possibly MAL was just sexier this year; I know The Leather Journal proclaimed this year better than last, the first year they were at the Hyatt.  I’m sure a bigger component of it is the title, though: not that I had more and better sex this year because I have the title, but because having the title encourages me to put myself out there a little differently, a little stronger.

Best Sex Coincidence: playing during the Miss America pageant, during the talent competition, and getting out of the sling just as Miss Wisconsin was announced.  (I’m mildly surprised emcee Frank Nowicki made no parallel of that to past MAL Alvin York during the contest.  Maybe Alvin wasn’t at MAL this year and the comparison would have been lost…)

Best Place to Have Sex at MAL: apparently my hotel bathroom after 2 am, given that I had sex there all three nights (after Ed went to bed).  You can manage quite a decent amount of kinky play in those small spaces, and the closed lid of the toilet makes a rather effective replacement for a sling.

Best Noisemaker: that would be me.  I’ve long joked that I need to record the audio from one of my play sessions, chop it up, and make a demo tape to send to Hollywood to get a job doing cartoon sound effects.  Thanks to Andrew videotaping a session, I now have a sample that could be used for just that.  (You think I’m kidding, don’t you? (URL))

That all said then, special thanks for a great time to Allan, Andrew, Bud, Dave, Jonathan (and his rubber catsuit), Mark (one less fisting cherry in the world now), Michael (now when can I get to Münich?  Maybe August 2013…), Randy (not Roger!), Spike, and Steve (I promise you a good fucking next year!).

And of course everyone else I met, chatted with, made out with, fruitlessly cruised, and so on during the weekend.  Congrats to Matt Bronson, the new Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather, and way to put the pressure on your sash wife for IMsL!  Steve Ranger, keep up the good work as president of the Centaurs.  Tom McCoy, Dave Rhodes, Michael Congdon, Roger Klorese, all the sexy rubber boys in the cold weather, Dean Ogren, Tom Savage, Boy Tyler, the list goes on…

Truly had a great time this year!